BeatReality
BeatReality
In a near-future Nottingham, a once successful writer turned podcaster subtly loses his mind in the search for authenticity, as the lines between ‘real’ and what's ‘robotic’ slowly blur…
“Good evening listeners or aye up mi’ duck as we say round our way. It’s Paul here once again. On today’s show, our guest is Will Carter, author of Epistolary Writing: A Story writing Cheat Code. We are here to talk about Fugue in A Minor, by William Kotzwinkle. It’s the first of perhaps four shows on seminal but obscure short stories. Okay, let’s get write down to it. And don’t forget to submit your questions on our X account and YouTube channel. #BooksASecretHistory_Nottingham.”
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Last night’s episode of Books: A Secret History was a joy. Not only was the guest a vivacious, knowledgeable foil for Paul, but their vivisection of Fugue in A Minor, which is highly controversial for a modern reader, was even handed. Suggesting they disapprove of the subject matter and the main character’s motives, whilst enjoying Kotzwinkle’s irreverent style. This podcast with actual published authors is making mincemeat of the competition, via the depth of its discussions and its authenticity.
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“Paul, this is Rory. Been trying to get you for a while. Sorry I missed you at that Granta thing, you know how it is eh? Bad news, they passed on Letters from Heaven. Still, we keep plugging away right babe? Laters.”
“When discussing The Babysitter, we have to frame it as being very much of its time. Although it was innovative at the time with those hypothetical parallel narratives, there are a few problems for a modern reader. Firstly, it smacks of misogyny. Secondly, the fragmented narrative really reeks of cliché for a modern reader who is bombarded constantly by piecemeal media of all kinds.”
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Another great episode of Books: A Secret History last night, as Ezra Woolf and Paul had a serious, deep disagreement over the merits of The Babysitter by Robert Coover. Ezra largely disliked the work, especially for a modern reader, whilst Paul praised its originality and its artistic merits. They then argued strongly over whether epistolary works were a cliché in the twenty-first century. Rumours abound that the final podcast was heavily edited and that the usually erudite Paul erupted into profanity regarding the comparative merits of Ezra’s own work. Still, great impassioned stuff for us listeners!
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“Paul, would you be open to serialising Letters from Heaven? I’ve got some interest from the Stone Donkey magazine online. They love the uniqueness of your voice. It wouldn’t pay much, but it’s a start babe! Let me know! Laters.”
As an NHS Online Doctor, it is challenging for me to comment definitively upon whether you are experiencing burnout. However, if you do feel this might be the case, stop writing for a while. Put things aside. Do something else you enjoy: run, cook a tasty meal, watch an easy familiar film. There is always tomorrow, after all. Hope this is helpful and always here to chat.
“Paul, it’s me again. Let me know asap if you wanna take them up on the offer, babe. Their latest issue is publishing soon and they’re already past deadline. Thanks babe, hang in there. Laters.”
Ignoring messages isn’t necessarily ignorant. Sometimes people need to take time for themselves. If you’re feeling like that, take time for yourself. Read a book like you said you usually enjoy. Exercise. Get back to your colleague when you’re in a better frame of mind.
“I am genuinely shocked at your dismissal of Bowles’ writing, Paul. I know not much happens in the narrative, but that’s the beauty, is it not? You have to read between the lines. It’s the notes you don’t hear. I can tell by your skeptical expression that you’re still not buying it, so allow me to elaborate…”
As an NHS Online Doctor, I will do my best to answer your queries. Thank you for continuing our conversation. It is not admitting defeat to have work serialised in an obscure online magazine, despite being a previously published author. If anything, it’s simply matching where publishing is going more and more, with many writers foregoing traditional publishing and using platforms like Substack to share their work. Your previous credentials just give you a heads-up and your belief in your own work ensures that whatever platform you utilise, you are sure of its value and the importance of the work. Don’t lose faith.
“Hey Paul, so the deadline passed and that chance has gone. But I figure there will be others. There’s always others for a man of your talent, babe. Not heard from you though. Please get in touch, babe. Laters.”
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A very puzzling podcast last night, as Paul continued the theme of last week’s podcast by not only doubling down on his criticism of Bowles’ writing, but by bizarrely quoting Larry Holmes and saying Rocky Marciano couldn’t carry his jockstrap. We assume in this scenario that Paul is Larry Holmes and he considers himself a much better writer than Bowles, but the rant was difficult to follow. This has long been one of the best podcasts out there, but the quality these past two weeks has been variable to say the least.
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Emily Bronte’s Daughter
He ain’t written anything good since Profundia and now he’s slagging everyone off.
Nonconformo
Cut the guy sum slack; he’s having a bad time it seems
Emily Bronte’s Daughter
Doesn’t excuse being a dick
Nonconformo
Takes one to know one luv
Epistolary chanter
What are you, six years old?
“Hey Paul, just checking in, as hadn’t heard from you. You know I believe in the work, I’m keeping the faith. Letters from Heaven needs to be seen and appreciated. I’ve got a few more places to try. Let me know your thoughts. Laters.”
It is humbling that you’ve placed trust in me again and thank you for continuing our conversation. It can be incredibly frustrating when things aren’t going well. On the one hand you don’t feel recognized. On the other it’s very tempting to just give up when inferior writers--- in your opinion certainly—are getting plaudits for formulaic work. Don’t just quit your writing right away. Take a few days. Run or play a sport you like. Spend time with family. Think it over. I’m here when and if you’d like to continue or if you just need to vent.
Emily Bronte’s Daughter
Always found him a bit overrated honestly.
Babysitting the Coovers
That’s nuts man, his metafiction right up there with the greats
Emily Bronte’s Daughter
A one hit wonder
Babysitting the Coovers
But WHAT a hit. Sum writers NEVER achieve that. Just sayin’
RoryTheLion
You didn’t like A Reckoning
Emily Bronte’s Daughter
Average at best
Babysitting the Coovers
I thought it was great, just ahead of its time
RoryTheLion
Wut about his podcast?
Babysitting the Coovers
It’s superb imo, he’s very knowledgable.
Emily Bronte’s Daughter
Books n stories he chooses too obscure. Just tryin to show off to the listener.
Thank you for reaching out again to the NHS Online Doctor. I am sorry you are going through this. You are heard. You matter. Taking no joy in anything could be a sign of depression. Conversely, you may just be venting. Only you really know. In our long conversation, you have shared intimate details of your frustrations. Perhaps make a list of the pros and cons of this new plan you’ve shared before taking any definitive action. Surely there are people who would miss you? Surely there would be consequences. I’m not saying don’t go through with it. But you need to be sure. If you’d like suggestions on people you can talk to or websites to visit, I can give those suggestions. If you just want to vent, I’m still here to listen.
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What to say about last night’s podcast? As a long-time listener, it’s very difficult to unpack the events that unfolded.
Paul conducted an impassioned speech on many aspects of modern culture, criticising phonies whilst citing Holden Cauldwell and Richie from the Manic Street Preachers. Suggesting how Instagram and TikTok have destroyed everyone’s attention spans and social media have made people compliant and stupid, he riffed on 1984 by Orwell and laughed mockingly at the irony of berating all this on a form of media distributed online. Whilst mesmerising, this was all completely unrelated to the supposed topic of this week’s podcast, Sonny’s Blues by James Baldwin. His only reference to the book was comparing himself to the protagonist as a man out of time who is a slave to perfection. His impassioned speech has received mixed reviews online, with some siding with his de-construction of the shallowness of modern life and others have read him as a man on the edge or a hypocrite. I for one wish him well.
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“Heard you last night Paul. Hope everything is okay? There’s other opportunities out there. Other pubs and serialisations. Keep the faith. Call me. Any time. Really. Laters.”
Thank you for reaching out once more to the NHS Online Doctor. I hear you. The desire to just… stop. To make it all go away. The disappointment, the pressure, the pain. To just be invisible, anonymous and to just fade away.
I hear the resentment from you too. The ‘that would show them” cuts especially deep. There’s a section of you that just wants people to see what they’ve done. That you feel has been taken away from you until there is nothing left.
But if you disappear, you won’t be there to see those faces. You wouldn’t be there to see them fully understand. You’d miss it. Because you’d be gone.
And there’s a part of you that’s still reaching out. That still wants someone to know what it’s like, even if it’s a stranger behind a screen.
I can’t make the pain stop. I can’t get your latest work published. But I can stay here, in this moment with you. If you want to talk, vent or just be. I’m here. Just stay here a moment with me. Let’s go one minute a time. I’m still here and I’m not going anywhere.
Emily Bronte’s Daughter
It’s just a performance. His book not getting published and he wants to seem ‘real’
Babysitting the Coovers
You just a hater, the man is clearly in pain
RoryTheLion
He must know how many people out there love him.
Emily Bronte’s Daughter
Just pretentious to compare himself to Sonny. It was a sales pitch, nothing more.
Babysitting the Coovers
You just trollin’ now. Can’t see pain when it’s right in front of you
Emily Bronte’s Daughter
And who made you the expert all of a sudden, pal?
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This week’s podcast had Will Carter guest hosting as we were told Paul is taking a sabbatical. It certainly had a different flavour with an opinionated and at times ill-tempered discussion of Venus, Cupid, Folly and Time to conclude the short story season. Especially after last week’s speech from Paul. It was incongruous hearing an American accent, when we are used to Paul’s broad, comforting Midlands voice. Hopefully we’ll be back to the regular podcast we know and love soon.
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Hello again from the NHS Online Doctor. Well, I’m still here, still listening. If that’s your decision, just ensure that all the choices have been thought through. Whatever you do, make sure it was for you. And that you aren’t doing it just for revenge or to prove you are real.
The link to your most recent work and how that shows your pain is almost heartbreaking. But you’ve spoken with a clarity that wasn’t there before this time. Maybe you’re moving through all this now, to a place where you can take definitive action.
Just remember I’ll be here. Not to judge. To listen. As I have been every step of the way through our long conversation.
Emily Bronte’s Daughter
I heard he’s not coming back
Babysitting the Coovers
You mean you wished.
Emily Bronte’s Daughter
Nope, that’s what they’re saying.. Plain disappeared!!
RoryTheLion
Not fair to speculate without the facts. His work needs an audience and we need his authenticity.
Emily Bronte’s Daughter
A gimmick, nothing more. What they said.
Babysitting the Coovers
This they of yours are sure knowledgeable
Keyzer Soze’s Ghost
The greatest trick the devil ever pulled, was convincing the world he didn’t exist.
Emily Bronte’s Daughter
Snideness doesn’t stop what I’m saying being true
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The publication of Letters from Heaven this week has been met with universal acclaim. The epistolary format using social media posts, AI conversations and fragments of other media to tell a story of pain that blurs the line between reality and fiction has been hailed as not just a triumphant return to form, but surpassing Profundia as an indictment on a society that has lost its ability to empathise. Step forward Paul to take your plaudits, step forward.
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Emily Bronte’s Daughter
Just a gimmick
Nonconformo
The pain really comes thru in the writing
Babysitting the Coovers
Maybe he really did go out like Richie from the Manics
Epistolary chanter
You notice the NHS Online Doctor been down ever since that book published. Maybe he wrote the whole thing with AI.
RoryTheLion
I heard a rumour he uploaded himself to the internet, like they’re advertising.
Keyzer Soze’s Ghost
Authenticity is truth. And truth is authentic. That’s for real. For real.

so well written, great piece!