Channel Surfing
How the mind can wander, when sat on a sofa…
Watching telly
My stella and me
This Morning. Not the same since Holly left, chief. Holly Bazooka. Bazooka that varuca.
Great advert that, great advert. Not as good as Reebook though. Belly’s Gonna Get Ya. Belly’s Gonna Get Ya.
Haha. It sure did mate. It sure did.
Changed the channel. It’s got that orange fella on it now.
David Dickheadson?
I heard he was a wideboy in real life. Aye. Embezzling. Shifty. A crafty cockney conman. Like Mark Lamarr.
That was another good show, Shooting Stars. Eranu! But life lately been a bit more OOvavu.
I had a little sleep on the sofa
I only know cos I woke up and it Murder She Wrote. Christ, there must be a million episodes of that.
I felt a bit low. So I pulled myself off to Dancing on Ice. Felt a bit better.
Today being Wednesday, had some jammy dodgers. On Friday I have a donut whilst watching Doctors. 2 expensive every day though.
Doctors a bit like the Bill when I was a kid. Every bugger on it at some point.
Brian Blesshead showed up today. Weird. What’s the diagnosis doctor beardy? “Flash Gordon’s alive!!”
Flick over to film 4. Choose life. Choose a big television. Choose an author who peaked with his only famous book. Nah.
Eastenders at last. Phil Mitchell. Angry Mr Potato Head. Sharon! Shut it! Might as well still be 1998. The Venga Bus is coming and we all like bumming. And what the hell does look like with a chimney on her bloody mean?
Watching Who Wants to be Millionaire now.
Where does Napoleon come from?
Corsa
She actually said that
Corsa
He’s a French general luv, not a bloody Vauxhall…
Thicker than school custard mate. Time to switch over
Oooh, Dragon’s Den.
Why has that one got poo face again, proper turtle’s head job
Some spotty little Herbert looks like he’s waving a dildo around
I thought she’d love it
But he’s saying it will revolutionate window cleaning
Orgasms clean windows now? The absolute weapon
Inspector Frost now on UK Gold or whatever they call it these days
Looks like a trainspotter Del Boy
Maybe a paedo Del Boy
Someone burnt a prostitute’s house down
Fire in the disco! Fire in the Taco Bell!
Ah, seen this one. Bugger.
Then on BBC 4 that Simon Scharma doing a documentary about bellringing
That’s what you call ironing!!!
BBC3 now with a mini documentary about a man whose head is shaped like a thumb
Don’t let him fool you. He’d eat you and everyone you care about
Springwatch time!
Bill Oddie, Bill Oddie, put your hands all over my body
Looks like the kind of man who has a wank in his garden shed
More more more Radio 4 Radio 4
But it’s a fun watch
Then a repeat of Have I Got News For You
If Angus Deayton were an ice cream he’d lick himself
And that Ian Hislop looks like a bloke who sniffs his own farts
Then reviews them
What’s this? Another bloody reality show?
Best Funeral Ever
Best. Funeral. Ever.
What’s next? Extreme Blinking? Steve Davis: How to be charismatic? Britain’s worst towns, starting Fearn Brittain and Luton.
Lord save us
Think I must have nodded off again
Eurotrash now, with that weird gay Belgian fella
Some French geezer training snails to run over obstacles
Am I still asleep?
I must be gangster trippin’
Right about now, ya funk soul mother check it out now
Ooooh the Sopranos is on, sweet
What is that Richie Aprile doing now
He’s like Rumplestiltskin
Time to turn over, he’s got eyes like Rasputin
Ra ra ra Rasputin, Russia’s weirdest love machine
Shagger of the Russian queen
That put some porridge into his wine
Turn over now
Prison doco
A Booty Warrior
He’s like the Muhammad Ali of prison bumming
Blimey
The Ultimate Warrior? Remember him
Used to sprint out, was knackered before he got to the ring
Then Macho Man
Talked like he was on the toilet before ejaculating
Oh Yeah
Miss when WWE was called WWF
Saw a porno once called Legion of Womb
Womb Raider was also good
Twatman n Throbbin—classic
Anyhow, watching telly
Wonder what’s on the other side?
