Hen
Hen
Scene 1
Interior, a public house, early afternoon
A group of young women, around a table that is too small. Imbibing alcoholic drinks, chatting loudly, laughing. Many wearing small faux pink tiaras, with the word ‘hen’ on the front.
Lisa (large girl, late twenties): Right then, what’s next, let’s have it!
Dora: (Smaller girl, mousy, similar age): Maybe we should slow down a little?
Lisa: Hah, no way duck! Let’s get some shots! Voddies all round, alreet?
Dora: (Sighing) Fine…
Kerry (The bride to be): Oh dear, I’m starting to feel a bit pissed…
Lisa: That’s the plan, stan! I’ll get them in!!
Lisa proceeds to the bar.
Dora: So, have you told her?
Kerry pretends she hasn’t heard.
Dora: Well?
Lisa (Irritated): No and I’m not bloody going to, alright? I’m supposed to be enjoying mysen, not thinking about that nonsense!
Samantha (A gossip): What’s this?
Lisa: Don’t you worry! Mind your own bee’s wax.
Samantha: I was only…
Lisa: I know what you’re only, always quick to poke it in other people’s business!
Samantha: That’s not bloody fair at all!
Bickering continues, as Lisa returns from the bar.
Lisa: Four hens, no cocks! Here we go! Get em’ down ya, chicks!
Lisa hands out vodkas. Theatrical body language to coax others to down them.
Lisa: Why did the Mexican push his wife off a cliff?
Samantha: What?
Lisa: Why did the Mexican push his wife off a cliff?
Dora: Huh!
Lisa: Tequila! That’s next, raise the bar! Yeesss!
Lisa returns to the bar again.
Dora; I really think you should….
Kerry: Just leave it, alreet?
Samantha stares intently at Kerry.
Kerry: Take a picture, it’ll last longer!
Samantha: What? I didn’t say anything.
Kerry: Tell that to your eyeballs love!
Bickering continues, as Lisa returns.
Lisa (Returning and singing): Tequilas all round! Tequila it makes me happy, oh Tequila when the doors are open…
Lisa hands out the drinks once and scrutinizes the others to down them.
Scene 2
Interior, Public House. Later that same evening.
Dora is napping on the table. Kerry has just departed to the toilet. Samantha and Lisa are at the table, sipping white wine.
Lisa; Great night, great times, can’t believe our little Kerry is getting hitched!
Samantha: Hmmm.
Lisa: Whatdoya mean ‘hmmmm?’ Our bestest mate in the whole world is getting married. Show some enthusiasm!
Samantha: Your bestest mate? Really?
Lisa: What do you mean?
Samantha: Oh nothing, forget it.
Lisa: No come on, if you’ve got something to say…
Samantha: Well, it’s somethink Dora set earlier…
Lisa: What?
Samantha: She keep saying there’s somethink Kerry should tell you.
Silence for a moment. Lisa’s face completely changing.
Lisa: I hope it’s not about…
Kerry returns from the toilet. Dora doesn’t stir.
Lisa: Fancy a smoke?
Kerry (drunkenly, slurring): Sure, let’s have it!
Samantha stays sat inside. There are raised voices outside, from both her friends. This lasts for over a minute.
Eventually, both girls return. Their mascara has run down their faces and they are clearly in a state of distress. Dora stirs on the table and wakes up.
Dora (Drowsily): Who fancies a kebab?